Developing Empathy in Children

Empathy is defined as “the capacity for participation in other’s feelings or ideas.” We usually apply this word to situations describing the ability to take another’s perspective or to care about what happens to someone else. For kids, developing empathy is a crucial developmental step that enhances their social skills as well as their ability to care for others.

Lack of empathy has been cited as a possible factor in the development of antisocial behaviours, including bullying. An inability to recognize and care about the plight of the victim leaves the bullier unable to experience guilt and gives him little reason to change his behaviours. By helping to develop empathy skills, we help kids become better human beings.

What can you do to foster this skill in young people?

Recognize and label feelings. Model the use of verbal expression of your own feelings, as well as the feelings you observe in others. Use I statements frequently when interacting with kids, “I felt angry when you didn’t listen to me,” or “I felt frustrated when I couldn’t get this to work out right,” are examples of I statements that help give kids the language for expressing themselves. Also use reflective listening skills to label feelings in others: “You seem a little sad today. Is something going on?” This helps kids learn to recognize feelings as well as realize the importance of expressing them.

Provide opportunities for giving. Service projects give kids the chance to give back to others less fortunate. In addition to monetary and other donations, gifts of ones time and talent help kids feel competent and important in the world. These types of projects often also give kids the chance to work directly with the people they are helping, enabling kids to start to identify with them. This helps to further their empathy development.

Let kids experience guilt. When kids hurt others, they need to know it, and they need to recognize the impact their actions have on others. Experiencing guilt, while not pleasant, can serve as a healthy reminder to do something different the next time. These feelings need to be explored, too. “How do you think he feels now? How would you feel if someone did that to you? What can you do different next time?” Problem-solving the situation helps kids develop alternatives for their behaviour.